Laughter is an Instant Vacation
Posted Date:
You need 12 laughs per day to stay healthy...
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A recent health study determined that there are 3 primary reasons people can't cope in life:
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They have a low self-esteem They live in the past They don't laugh enough
In fact, the same study concluded that we need a minimum of 12 laughs a day just to stay healthy!
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So today, we'd like to share 20 humorous quotes and, if in the next few minutes you don't laugh at least once, check your pulse...you may be dead! Read on...
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My doctor is wonderful. Once, when I couldn't afford an operation, he touched up the x-rays. -Joey Bishop
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Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. -Ronald Reagan
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I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor
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If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel. -Will Kommen
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Insanity doesn't run in my family. It gallops. -Cary Grant
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Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. -Robert Orben
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Misers aren't fun to live with, but they make wonderful ancestors. -David Brenner
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My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. -Dave Barry
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I'm not going to vacuum ‘til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior. -Rita Rudner
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If you love something, set it free. Unless it's chocolate. Never release chocolate. -Renee Duvall
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The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. -Calvin Trillin
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. -Rodney Dangerfield
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping. -Rita Rudner
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My husband wanted one of those big-screen TV's for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. -Wendy Liebman
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I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. -Douglas Adams
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I have an aunt who married so late in life that Medicare picked up 80 percent of the honeymoon. -Don Reber
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I hate housework - you make the beds, you do the dishes - and six months later you have to start all over again. -Joan Rivers
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. -Henny Youngman
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Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. -Bob Thaves
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