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Laughter is an Instant Vacation

Posted Date: 15 December 2008 at 12:59:50PM

You need 12 laughs per day to stay healthy...

 

A recent health study determined that there are 3 primary reasons people can't cope in life:

 

They have a low self-esteem
They live in the past
They don't laugh enough

In fact, the same study concluded that we need a minimum of 12 laughs a day just to stay healthy!

 

So today, we'd like to share 20 humorous quotes and, if in the next few minutes you don't laugh at least once, check your pulse...you may be dead! Read on...

 

My doctor is wonderful. Once, when I couldn't afford an operation, he touched up the x-rays.
-Joey Bishop

 

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
-Ronald Reagan

 

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor

 

If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel.
-Will Kommen

 

Insanity doesn't run in my family. It gallops.
-Cary Grant

 

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
-Robert Orben

 

Misers aren't fun to live with, but they make wonderful ancestors.
-David Brenner

 

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
-Dave Barry

 

I'm not going to vacuum ‘til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr

 

To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior.
-Rita Rudner

 

If you love something, set it free. Unless it's chocolate. Never release chocolate.
-Renee Duvall

 

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
-Calvin Trillin

 

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
-Rodney Dangerfield

 

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
-Rita Rudner

 

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TV's for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.
-Wendy Liebman

 

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
-Douglas Adams

 

I have an aunt who married so late in life that Medicare picked up 80 percent of the honeymoon.
-Don Reber

 

I hate housework - you make the beds, you do the dishes - and six months later you have to start all over again.
-Joan Rivers

 

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
-Henny Youngman

 

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.
-Bob Thaves

 

 

 

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